Last week was, by far, the most intense week of my life. Boomba was two weeks past her due date, and after reports that my amniotic fluid was low, my doctor recommended that I induce labor in order to prevent some really scary stuff from happening. I didn’t love the idea of induction…but I loved it more than the idea of something happening to Boomba–so Monday evening Jason, my parents and I went into the hospital with suit cases, cameras and birth-ball in tow. The nurses checked me before beginning the induction. Alas, I was not dilated at all. It was disappointing. I had spent the last two weeks obsessively looking out for signs of labor with no results. Boomba did not want to budge. The nurse put an IV in my arm to begin the process. It felt weird taking a drug after ten months of being totally drug-free. The nurse placed monitors on my belly to measure contractions and Boomba’s heart rate. The sound of her heart beating became the sound-track to the next 26 hours of labor.
Throughout the night, the nurses came in every hour or so to check in on me. I had to get up to pee about every 20 minutes. I was beginning to feel the contractions, a tightening of my abdomen, a crampiness, nerves. I tried to relax. I was awake to watch the light of the sun begin to make it’s way into the hospital room. They checked my cervix and I was two centimeters dilated. Not exactly the steep progress we had hoped for after being hooked up to machines all night long–but it was still progress. My doctor decided to give me pitocin to help move the process along. She then broke my water bag.
It was not the dreamy ‘water-bag-breaking’ story you see in the movies. She used a tool that looked like a crochet hook and I felt a small gush of warm water trickle down my leg.
They put internal monitors inside me to monitor Boomba’s heart and the contractions.
I had a band on my arm that squeezed my arm tightly to check my blood pressure every five minutes.
A little clip on my index finger measured my pulse.
I had so many wires and chords coming in and out of me at this point that I felt like a cyborg.
The minutes passed and the contractions softly intensified.
The hours passed. The pain increased. Three centimeters dilated. Four. Five.
The pain, at this point, was no longer tolerable. The pitocin intensified the contractions and also ensured that they came really close together, giving me no break in between each flash flood of agony. Jason stroked my arm and help me to change positions, to breath, to focus elsewhere like we had learned in the many prep courses we had taken. He fed me ice chips. We listened to Bob Marley. My mom and dad took turns holding my hand, helping me to breath.
By the time the nurse asked me if I wanted the epidural, knowing I was facing five-six more hours of these contractions, I said yes. The six inch long needle in my back felt like a mosquito bite compared to the pain of the contractions. I was beyond relieved once the pain subsided.
I told the anesthesiologist that administered the epidural that I wanted to kiss him.
I began to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
They put in a catheter and at last, I was able to take a breath and listen to Boomba’s heart beat. I was now dilated between seven-eight centimeters and I took comfort in the knowing that soon, I would get to meet my little Boomba. I could still feel the highs of the contractions, but the pain was subdued.
After a few minutes, the shakes creeped up on me. My whole body began to convulse. My jaws clacked together, I began to sweat.
I had a fever. The nurses added antibiotics to the buffet of drugs that were being fed to my veins.
Boomba’s rhythmic heartbeat began to beat erratically: Fast, then slow. Fast, then slow.
They checked my dilation and the previous reading of seven to eight cm. was incorrect. They informed me that I was actually more like six cm. By this time I had been in labor for 24 hours.
To say I felt disheartened would be an understatement. My doctor informed me that at this point, with the baby’s heart-beat as erratic as it was, in order to avoid risk of brain-damage and other really frightening things from happening, she recommended a C-Section.
One million things ran through my head at this point–but the most pressing, was that all that mattered was that Boomba came out healthy. So after talking it over with Jason, they shaved me and prepped me for the OR.
As I lay on the OR table I waited for Jason, stared at the enormous aluminum lights above me, and sobbed uncontrollably. I was scared. And exhausted.
The doctors numbed my me and I asked Jason to just talk to me in my ear to drown out the voices of the doctors and nurses that were chit-chatting about taco bars and kids’ birthday parties.
I felt nothing from the waist down and then, after what seemed like about twenty minutes, I heard the sound of my baby cry. It was the sweetest cry I’d ever heard. More time passed and they called Jason over to cut the umbilical cord. I waited. I waited some more. The anticipation of meeting my daughter in that moment, was like nothing I’d ever felt. Finally, the nurse placed a little swaddled baby-doll on my shoulder, just a couple of inches from my face. My eyes crossed to try and put her in focus. I could smell her baby smell and once again the tears began to flow–but this time, tears of wonder. It was so surreal to see her for the first time already all clean and swaddled–I didn’t get to see her covered in blood or with her umbilical cord attached–so despite the many months of pregnancy and the many hours of labor it almost felt like she appeared like magic.
Jason and Boomba left the OR to get her tests done. I heard the doctor dictating that she was breech, the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck, and she had meconium in her mouth–all signs that pointed to the fact that a vaginal delivery would have been very tough and very risky for her.
As they sewed me up I practiced my breathing and my patience. I had to wait a whole hour before I would get to hold my daughter, see her sweet face, share in the joy with my husband and my parents.
By the time I could wiggle my toes again, Boomba was brought to me. I removed her from her tight swaddle to feel her skin on mine and Jason and I were so full of love and joy and relief. It was the best nightmare of my life. And she was there, and healthy. The rest was just details.
Jason and I decided to name her Ida Sky. Ida was my great-grandmother’s name–we were very close an she brought an abundance of love and joy into my life. The name Sky I love because it gives me the feeling of endless possibilities. So her name is rooted in both the earth, (with ties to her family tree) and the heavens.
nicole valentine don says
wow. that is a lot to take in. thank you for sharing. it’s nice to know that after all that, the yucky stuff is just details…
she is beautiful :)
Ida says
What an interesting story, so touching! All the best to you three, I am looking forward to reading many more blog posts on the adventures of Ida Sky.60 btectim
Flotsam Friends says
Hi Justina, thanks for your honest story. I know you probably feel a bit displaced by it all but at the end of the day, you have a beautiful, healthy baby and that is the most important thing. You met your goal that’s for sure!! In time you’ll mend and you’ll only see the world through Ida’s eyes. She really is perfection (no egg head or blood shot eyes like my boys). I remember my doctor saying, “the plan is, there is no plan as you don’t know what your body will do”. I’d say Ida was way too comfortable inside you! Wait until she sees the insane world you’ve created for her… I’m going to enjoy watching her grow and to hear about your new world too. Welcome to the roller coaster. It’s crazy but fun. You’ll fit in well I think.
Moon to Moon says
Just Beautiful xxx
mamalooks says
So glad it all ended up well, which is all that matters!
Enjoy your little girl, the tough parts starts now ;-)
LeeLee says
She is beautiful. Congratulations!!
Kate says
Congratulations, I love reading birth stories. My first was also induced at 12 days over he was posterior with the cord around his neck twice luckily I didn’t need a c-section but they did use ventouse and there was a lot of stitches. He was also taken away for a few hours because he wasn’t doing so well, now he’s a healthy happy 4yo. My second son was 8 days early and I got to have a natural unmonitored birth which was great. Every birth story is so different Im glad you and Ida are safe and healthy.
Anonymous says
Beautiful story for a beautiful little girl. Love the name, congrats
Anonymous says
Miss Ida Sky is absolutely gorgeous, just like her mama! Congratulations on your beautiful family and be sure to cherish every moment. My baby boy is four months old and I’m in awe of how fast time has flown by.
Anonymous says
Congratulations on the arrival of your beautiful Ida! I’m sorry it was a difficult delivery. Everyone will tell you that having a healthy baby is the ONLY thing that matters. It’s important…that goes without saying. But having a healthy mama as you start your new journey is equally as important. Be super kind to yourself. Lie in bed with her on your chest for the next couple of weeks and make people bring you food and drinks! Don’t worry for one second about “getting stuff done”. (Boy if I had only known that after I had my first!!) Watch your mental state because birth in all forms is a head trip…a difficult/unexpected one is traumatic, even though everyone will tell you how you should just feel happy. When you’re ready to venture out, find some mama support groups and sit around talking about diapers and nursing and all those things that matter most to new parents so that you’re not isolated. Best wishes and much much love to you and your new family from one of your many fans who think you are an inspiration :)
Anonymous says
Congratulations. She’s beautiful. We named our daughter Ava Sky (5years ago). My husband suggested Sky because he said just like the Sky she is beautiful, mysterious, and full of endless possibilities. It made smile when I read what you Little Boomb’s name is. May your family continue to be blessed.
Charlotte Chance says
Thank you for sharing so honestly your very moving birth story, she is beautiful.
Nola says
Congratulations and welcome to the little one!
You all did a great job in handling all of it.
Melinda says
Awe… Beautiful baby! We have the same Aden and Anais blankets. My son is 3 and still uses them. I love how you say, “it almost felt like she appeared by magic”. That’s how I felt too with my c-section.
Susan says
How beautiful…and your description of “the best nightmare of my life” is exactly how I feel about my c-section experience (with twins). But once you hold your angel (s) the rest is all details. So happy for you both…and what a beautiful name for your precious baby girl.
Lindsay says
I cried reading this! Mama, you are SO STRONG. Ida has such a strong Mama. Enjoy each moment.
KiNGFLY says
Congrats! Welcome Ida Sky!
katieanne says
stunning story. congratulations <3
Juanita Barrier says
Only two years ago I had a very similar experience to yours. I even described my emotions just as you have. We shared the exact fear, anticipation and joy, as I’m sure many women have before us. Of course, the most important thing is, mom and baby are both healthy and happy. Although, my story had a few post-natal complications, I still feel the same as you when you stated, “It was the best nightmare of my life. And she was there, and healthy. The rest was just details.” I love that expression! My experience has reminded me, that we can dream and plan our whole lives long, but there is always an even bigger plan for us, a plan beyond our understanding. Congratulations! Have a healthy and happy life together. Love & Light!
Aurelia says
Congratulation!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for sharing your story with us!
All the best for you, your man an Ida Sky!!!!!!
xo Aurelia
PS: I love the name Ida Sky!
eslachtdermai says
Congratulations! She is absolutely beautiful, and I love the basis of her name. What an ordeal…I’m surprised they didn’t do a sonogram before starting the induction medicine to see if she was vertex or breech. They could have saved you a lot of pain! At least she is healthy and happy though…in the end, that’s all that matters!
sarah says
well done justina and congratulations!! so happy for you and yours!
sarah says
well done justina and congratulations!! so happy for you and yours!
sarah says
well done justina and congratulations!! so happy for you and yours!
autumnempire says
Congrats and WELCOME to the Perfect New Human Ida Sky; she IS beautiful.
ADAMADE says
Hi Ida! Congratulations on seeing your gorgeous mum’s exterior at last! Have a happy and colourful life.
Lesley Vincenti says
that story was amazing…thank you for sharing such a personal experience. you, jason and ida sky are such a beautiful family!!
Jennifer Chong says
congrats – she is beautiful, thanks for sharing your story – you are an inspiration to many!
Rose in Oakland says
Thank you for sharing your beautiful birth story. Welcome to motherhood, already so full of surprises, right?! Ida Sky is absolutely gorgeous.
Elizabeth Rogers Drouillard says
Yay!! I am so glad she is here and so glad you are well. The rest is always just details as long as they are happy and healthy. :) I love her name and that last photo of you two together made me tear right up. Many blessings to you all. xoxo
Nate says
I love the name. The photos are absolutely amazing.
White Card says
I am speechless with your birth story. Everything in it is just awesome. Congratulations to you and your hubby. Welcome baby Ida Sky! :)
Anonymous says
All the way from Cape Town, South Africa, I have been wishing you well with your journey. Thank you for sharing this amazing and intimate story with us – it is really a privilege x
Anonymous says
Congratulations from Denmark ! A beautiful girl and all worth the pain…
Nice to know you story, have been waiting impatiently with you, – enjoy !!
Christine says
Wow! Thank you for sharing such a personal story – amazing (I could just feel your pain and anticipation…riveting)! Ida is beautiful — congratulations!!! xo
Fenn says
That was beautiful story. I really enjoyed reading it.
Maggie Stewart Best says
I have read about how hard it is to accept a C-Section+drugs for a healthy, natural mama like you, like I will be. That sucks and not having a natural birth must be grieved. But thank you for your perspective, that all that was important was keeping Miss Ida safe and healthy. I am so sorry for your 26 hours of labor (woof!) but so very thankful for your beautiful girl. Thank you for sharing your beautiful life with us and for entrusting us with such a wondrous story! May she ever stay connected to the earth and the heavens.
Love,
Maggie
Tonia B. says
Justina!! I am so happy for you & your husband. It’s so wonderful and refreshing. Reading your birth experience brought tears of joy to my eyes. Thanks so much for sharing…Ida Sky with us.
simply grove says
Ida is perfect! And you are an amazing mommy!
Jennifer Young says
so many tears fell while reading this post! love you guys so much…
joy says
so beautiful! can’t wait to hold that little beauty!
Camille says
Super Congratulations!!! She’s beautiful. This is getting weird, however… my birth story is very similar to yours. You must read my blog about it and you will be like, “what??” Just crazy. What matters is that we both have healthy little ones to love on and cherish.
Blessings!!!
Jessica kassin says
Teary beautiful Tina! Love u and can’t wait to meet Ida Sky. Gorgeous photos.
ACG says
Wow, what a powerful birth story – thank you for sharing! Your perspective is amazing and Ida is blessed to have such a centered and grounded momma. Congrats to your beautiful family, so happy for you all!
Bekka says
You just made me cry. I’m so happy you have a healthy baby!
sarit says
TINA HOLY MOLY CHUPPS!!!!! You made me cry reading this entry…. Whatta journey! So much Love and Respect…XOXOX Sarit
Claire (student midwife) says
What a beautiful story, despite it not going to plan. Thank you so much for sharing what an honor to share in the joy of your first born. All the best to you in your new trifecta.
Amee says
oh my lord, you all are troopers. ah-may-zing. congratulations on Ida’s safe delivery and welcome to your beautiful baby girl! xoxo – Amee
Marya says
Lovely, lovely birth story. Thanks for sharing.
Jan Halvarson says
Wow, so beautiful – and amazing. So glad all is well and how beautiful she is – I love her name and the meaning behind it – congratulations to you all.
Kate says
What a beautiful story, Justina, and congrats! Ida Sky is the most beautiful name ever, wow.
Mattos says
Afternoon, this is my third time trying to post here, hopefully I get write this time. :)
I too had a very similar experience with my first. 24 hours of labor, three hours of pushing then C section…but as we say Health is the most important and we too were blessed with a healthy baby in the end (who is now 15) ugh I wanted to add though that even though it all didn’t go as planned (as nothing does after having children) I went on to have two others vaginally, one again was 24 hours and needed help coming out but the other was in about 10 hours. So you just never know. I am very happy for you and your family, what a joy. Embrace every precious moment.
Rebeccah says
She is incredibly beautiful! I am so glad that you are both healthy and doing well! PS Love her name!
Igor Josifovic says
Oh my dear Justina! Being away on holidays made me read this post just now. It almost made me cry to read your tough way and the sweet moment of welcoming little Ida Sky. I am so happy you all are fine and little Boomba is a little angel. A huge hug to your entire family from Munich!! Igor xoxo
Felicia Shelton says
I’ve just discovered your blog and company today. I want to congratulate you and your lovely family on this precious addition. Ida Sky, what a beautiful name for a beautiful little girl. Many blessings to you all the way from Paris, France. You and your little one have made my day.
Felicia
paperfashion says
what a beautiful story justina. congrats to you and your new family! she’s gorgeous… and her name is just perfect!
emily b says
Wow, you’ve been through a lot! But know it was all worth it in the end. Ida is beautiful! Congrats, mom and dad!
Joious says
What a touching story! Thanks so much for sharing.
Steve & Laura says
so beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes! congrats mum and dad xxx
Shera says
I just came across your blog through Cup of Jo and it is lovely.
My heart was breaking for you as you told your birth story. So beautifully told. You really summed it up with: “It was the best nightmare of my life.” You are one brave momma! Hooray for a healthy and wonderful baby girl!
RSA Online says
Lovely photos. Reminds me of the day I gave birth to my baby.
RSA Online says
Loved reading this post and the photos. What a wonderful time for you!
Ida says
Hi Justina,
I’ve seen a bunch of your pins on pintrest. I saw a pin of your daughter, Ida and I bursted with excitement. Besides my grandmother, I haven’t known many people with my name. How do you pronounce it? I pronounce my name EDA. I love your blog and thank you for sharing.
Justina Blakeney says
My grandmother’s name was Ida as well! We pronounce it with the long “I” as in “I love you” Ida :) Thanks for stopping by!
Sarah says
Wonderful story and a great set of photos.